Read This First
The Nothing-To-Lose Mindset
Hustlers. Charlatans and Tony Robbins
Philosophies From The Jail Cell to Boardroom
Business Model Rules
Honor Your Deals
First Things First
Watch Your Wallet
What’s Driving You?
Tap Those Assets
Risk and Sacrifice
Million Dollar Mistakes
I Hate Business Plans
Launching Your Business
Do’s and Don’ts of Pitching to Investors
Growing, Hiring and Firing
Decisions Change Everything
Moments of Tension
What is Your Coconut Calling?
Finding My Purpose
Saying NO to Saying YES
Take The Time
A Lifelong Love
I Love Doing Good
Love As Competition
Live the Learning
Explore the Options
Out Of Your Mind
No, Yes and Maybe.
The Mighty Jungle
If I Change the World and Lose My Family, I Fail
Swimming to the Sandbar
Fear of the Future
Let's dissect what blogging is right off the bat. "Blogging" is simply a term for writing stuff publically online for other people to read. It can be used to tell a story, share a lesson hype a product and so on. This venue for your collection of words is a lot more powerful than you realize. Much like the discipline of journaling, it value is a lot less about actually what comes out but what happens when we activate ourselves to initiate and follow through with the process. We stroke multiple channels of thought and communication in our brains, stir our emotions and the output can be striking unfamiliar but very satisfying.
If you want to skip to the technical of how to setup a blog right now you can check this walkthrough out I created: HOW TO SETUP A BLOG IN 10 MINUTES OR LESS
Here are 3 (of many reasons) you need to be blogging:
Blogging allows you to outwardly process emotion and thought.
There is power in the pen. Writing out thoughts and feelings allow us more depth in processing. 99% of the time I find new revelations in past situations and ready application I never even considered before. It can emotionally unconstipate us and create huge breakthroughs in areas of our lives where we feel "stuck".
Blogging allows us to grieve publicly and heal
Grief doesn't happen just because of a death in the family. We sometimes need to grieve and heal from lost opportunities, poor choices, hurtful situations and more. There is something so satisfying about being "real" and putting yourself out there. It is like saying "I'm vulnerable and broken but I'm here and this is my story". Truly powerful stuff.
One of the most powerful bi products of blogging online is that you sharing where you are can turn your hurts and hangups into healing for someone else - someone you don't even know! The web is powerfully connected and we all have some social media somewhere. Just sharing your blogging with people in your inner network can have a huge impact on them and their network and so on.
One big stopping point for people is that they feel they don't have millions of people to read it. As we said above, do it for yourself first. But in regards to this thought - would you rather be slightly know by 1 million people or have a life changing impact on 1 person's life and all those they connect with? It is not about the width of our impact - it is about the depth of our impact. Be real and authentic and you'll be surprised how much of a light you can be for others.
Blogging helps us refine our communication skills.
Life is all about communication. We are wired for community and we can't have community without communication. Writing develops our communication skills and cognitive abilities. It help us process things better. Even if you can't "write" writing makes you better.
So what is stopping you? If you are hung up on the technical pieces of setting up a blog, you can review my walkthrough on how to setup a blog on BlueHost (a blog hosting provider). The cost is $4-$5/month (and they have specials). WAAAY worth it.
We've heard the "think yourself rich" stuff for a long time. Gurus have sold us all for decades on how to make it work for us like they did. If you could just think different you could be a millionaire, own a jet and build a huge business. I'm sure most of us check out when we hear that - I know I have a bad taste in my mouth when it comes to someone selling hype. BUT (with a big but) I think there is truth in the principle of self perspective when it has to do with the way we think about ourselves- especially when it comes to us thinking about our own value in life.
We are WAY to hard on ourselves. Have you ever had someone belittle themselves convinced of a lie that they believe about themselves that you don't even remotely believe? It manifests itself more when we hear or see people's actions. How could they do that? Why are they always in a funk, in trouble, hurting themselves and others? Lies. They are believing and acting out lies about themselves that they've come to believe that are simply not true. They aren't worth it, they should feel guilty and ashamed, they don't matter, etc.
I was at a luncheon once that was raising resources and awareness to rescue women from sex trafficking. In this horrific practice, the "pimp" that would introduce and keep women in the sex trade would start with a subtle lie about their value. These are women who you would NEVER think in a million years would consider anything like this.Then they'd continue to build the lies until the point where they'd convince these women that their only value is to sell themselves. It is sick and twisted - yet it demonstrates that what we end up believing about ourselves (true or not) will manifest itself into reality. Once we believe it, it is very easy to become it.
Here are the top 3 ways it creeps into our lives and keeps us from all our potential:
We believe other's lies about ourselves.
We live in a harsh world with a lot of broken people. Angry, frustrated, mean and hurting people. In relationships, scenarios and situations we encounter a lot of false information. One person's opinion doesn't define us. When I was in middle school I was a bit of a class clown. I felt that was where I got the most self esteem and people looked at me as someone that was funny but not smart. I played "dumb" a lot and that believe actually impacted all my output in school and many relationships. I remember one scenario where another peer strait asked me - Why are you acting dumb? You're not dumb." It completely shattered me. I thought to myself - he's right what am I doing? Just that pivot changed a ton of things in my life. We have to diligently filter other's input against what we know is true about ourselves.
We internalize these lies and wire them into our reality.
Usually as a second stage of believing the lies other people spin, we internalize their belief. We think, "..they said that so it must be true". STOP. People say a lot of things that aren't true - especially immature, emotional defunct people. Think about bullying. Did you have any bullies when you were growing up? Bullies hurt a lot of people but usually when you dig deeper most are really immature hurting people inside. They are trying to numb the pain in their lives by taking it out on others.
I remember this guy from highschool that I felt was always picking on me for some reason - acne, weight, you name it. This dude was such a jerk. He hurt me with his words and comments when I was prob most vulnerable and it took me a long time to get over it. Some of the stuff he said I felt just replayed in my head. Lies.
I found out later that he was physically abused pretty badly by his parents all through school. When I heard that, it just broke my heart in a way that I never thought I'd feel for this person. I went from resentment to compassion.
I believed some of the lies that he told me and for a long time because I made them my own. They kept me from seeking my full potential. Just because someone says it, doesn't mean it's true or that it defines who you are.
We build our lives based on other people.
We've all heard the phrase "keep up with the Jones'". It has to do with building our lives and making decisions around what other people think or how we think we look to other people. Facebook feeds this desire. Everyone seems so perfect that we feel like our lives aren't matching up - but behind the scenes everyone is broken and struggling just like the next person.
Why does this destroy our potential? Because it keeps us from being who we really are, making the unique contribution to our world only we can make and it perpetuates this belief system.
Thing about when someone is just real - an unadulterated "what you see is what you get" kind of person. It is almost refreshing. That is because we are drawn to authentic people - they feel "real". Authenticity has become so rare in our world but so attractive.
To sum it up:
Evaluate what lies you might be believing from your past and debunk them. Curate a positive self image and be yourself. The world needs you and what you bring to the table. You are valuable!
I learned this lesson the hard way when I decided to cheat the Cleveland, Ohio 5k race at Thanksgiving about 10 years ago. (It's embarrassing to even tell this story but it was quite a learning lesson for me.)
My father is an avid runner and has been his entire life. As for me I didn't get those genes - I'll run if my life is in danger or the food is ready. So, as a "bonding" experience I opted to run a yearly race he does at Thanksgiving in Cleveland Ohio called the "5k Turkey Trot". I showed up completely out of shape. I hadn't done ANY training for this race - I was overly optimistic and completely unprepared.
I remember staring with my dad and hundreds of others at the starting line. When they said go - we were off. The first half mile was bearable and then it started to get a bit tough. My dad was just cruising and it wasn't long before I couldn't see him. Before I knew it, I was already at the back with all the stragglers. I was a straggler.
Halfway into the race my mind started to give up. I found myself justifying speed walking, then justifying regularly walking and then I had the bright idea of taking a shortcut back to the finish line. Haven't I run enough? Who will know? Who would really care? It's just a dumb race. I'm not even a runner. (It's always amazing to me how willing we are to justify our own lies).
So I did it. I took the next side street and headed up toward the finish line. About halfway up the street I turned around and literally about died. People were following me.
I have to say that in that moment I felt like the worst human being in the world. First I had convinced myself to cheat and then I had unknowingly brought innocent people along with me. Could it get any worse?
Yes. I am not proud of my next action and it's crazy to even think I made this choice as a twenty something "adult". What did I do when I saw I was misleading others? I ran ahead and hid behind a car. Even typing that makes me feel scuzzy. I-hid-behind-a-car. And when the other runners came around the corner I remember peeking and seeing how bewildered they were that I had "vanished". Eventually, they ended up running back the way they came and found the course they should have been on.
I've thought of this story many, many times and there are 3 lessons that stick out so clearly:
Shortcuts don't work. They just waste our time and resources.
Not only did I give up on my goal of finishing the race and let people down - I ended up actually getting lost in Cleveland and going further than I would have if I would have just finished the race out. Shortcuts in life, business, relationships all have some kind of appeal in the beginning but in the end we wind up with wasted time, efforts and resources we will never get back.
Our shortcuts hurt other people even if we don't see it.
We like to think everyone else is isolated from our decisions. It is one of the great lies we spin. It is not true. Everything we do has an impact on the people closest to us - family, friends, etc. EVERYTHING. Positive and negative. When we opt to take a quick route or shortcut we will effect their lives and it rarely in a positive way.
Shortcuts hurt us even if we don't want to admit it.
The emotions I felt from this experience didn't stay in the race. I felt guilty for a long time because I cheated myself. I felt ashamed and embarrassed because I had quit so easily. I wound up lying to others about it, my results, what happened,etc. because I felt so bad. Negative emotions take a serious toll on us and rob of us joy and energy. This internal damage comes out in our attitude and behavior with others. No one wants to feel like that.
Guess what? I'm going back at it this year - Thanksgiving 2016. No shortcuts, no gimmicks. I'm going to finish it (run,walk, limp, crawl - whatever) and rewrite this chapter. :)